The Ring and Fish (See OOC)

[Simbelmyne]

The Ring and Fish, the dingy sign read. It was a seedy establishment around the town of Bree, run by Gollum.

Inside was a strange sight indeed. In one corner, two wizards played bingo, and in another was a stranger in a black cloak, smoking his pipe. Hobbits danced and sang on tables, and two Nazgul walked up to the counter to order Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps. Frodo the barmaid took their order, and went back to the kitchens, where Sam was about to present "Fish and Chips by S. Gamgee" to Gollum. He could have got sushi instead!

(((OOC: Any other characters will be introduced later, or if you are playing a character not written in by Tolkien, take any cue you like! Also, this is a humour RPG, so if you can take the mick out of your character, or make your posts funny, do!)))

[Galadeth Greenleaf]

At that moment, a drunk Elf came in and fell to the floor.

"Ai... ~hiccup~ Elbereth Gilthoniel... too much... Miruvor with Aragorn..."

The Elf turned to be Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of Mirkwood.

((OOC: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!! ))

[Simbelmyne]

'Durin the Deathless, it's another drunk elf,' Gimli muttered. 'Get up, laddie. We dwarves stay sober much longer than you elves with your miruvor wine. Good solid ale, that's what you need.' He hauled the elf up to the bar by his leg.
'Do you have anything to keep this elf sober? He's away with the fairies, this one.'

[MeredithThornbank]

"hes Hairy you say?" came the voice of an eldery hobbit by the fire "yes he looks a bit hairy "

[Eloise]

Gollum/Smeagol sat in the back room, clutching todays earnings and muttering to himself. Well, ok arguing with himself.

"Stupid fat customers! Always so polite and nice, yess precious, think they're so smart just because they aren't smashing up the bar stools! Well, precious, we should show them!"

"No! No! Customers is our friends! They gives us nice money! Money for fish preciousss!"

"But their so boring! 'No violence, no preciouss, we're to good for that!' Their so boring!"

"But without customers, we get no moneys! Then we starve precious!"

"We could show them, my love. Teach them that bars should have lots of fightses and blood ang guts!"

"No! No! You scare off nice customers! No violence!"

Most of the customers had grown used to their rather eccentric owner. Talking to himself they didn't much mind, however they got slightly more worried when he tried to start a bar fight by attacking himself.

[Arwen Evenstar]

Daisy Took walked around the odd creature that was the owner, and walked up to the dwarf and elf sitting at the bar. Well, the dwarf was sitting. The rather intoxicated elf was slumped over. 'Hello!' she said to the dwarf. 'My name is Daisy. Can I get you anything?'

((Eloise, I'm still laughing over your post! You had me cracking up! Starting a bar fight by attacking himself! LOL))

[Simbelmyne]

"Unless you can manage sanity drugs, not really." Gimli looked over at the manager, attacking himself. "Please don't tell me this is normal."

[Arwen Evenstar]

'Well, he has a few... problems. Bad family life, you know. Scarred him for life. He'll never be normal again. But you get used to it,' she assured Gimli.

[MeredithThornbank]

The ancient hobbit staggered to his feet and walked over to Gollum very very slowly
"Smeagol Gollum you both stop that"He said sternly and grabbing gollum by both shoulders tried to pull him off himself
(ooc yes he is senile)

[Eloise]

Fortunatly Smeagol had won the fight, otherwise the elderly hobbit would no doubt be nursing several broken bones and a bitten neck.

"We're sorry, nice mister customer sir. It wasn't usss! We swearss! No, precious, it was nasssty Gollum, he always tries to start trouble he does, yes preciousss!"

[Linithiel]

Sam went over to Gollum/Smeagol with a tray of food. (OOC: can we call him Smeagollum? )

"Come on now, Mr Gollum, pull yourself together! I don't know what you're thinking, having a fight like that with yourself! Honestly, what the customers must be thinking, I can't imagine. Now, settle down and eat your meal: fish and chips, served by S. Gamgee. You couldn't say no to that now, could you?"

[Arwen Evenstar]

((Galadeth asked me to take care of Legolas for her))

Legolas lifted his head up, and though he saw three hobbit girls standing in front of him. 'Could one of you get me something to drink?' he asked Daisy, still seeing three of her. 'I think you've had enough to drink for now, Mr. Elf! How about something to eat? Food is always a good thing, and we've got plenty of it!' Daisy offered Legolas. 'Thas ok... I don't think I feel like anything now anyways,' he slurred. He tried to stand up, but fell to the floor. Daisy ran around and helped Legolas up again. 'Let's take him over there to one of those tables,' she said to Gimli. 'It would be easier for him to sit in a chair than on one of those stools.' They helped him over to a table, although it was rather hard for Daisy, considering she was quite a bit shorter than even the dwarf. After getting him settled, she walked around the room to see if anyone else needed anything.

[Evenstar]

((LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!! Linithiel, that sounded so much like Sam!!!!!!!!! (I think we need a laughing smilie!!!) ))

[Galadeth Greenleaf]

Legolas looked at Gimli.

"Where in the Middle-Earth am I, Gimli? I think I drank too much Miruvor-wine..." and his head fell to the table.

[Nilikar]

Anneth drank another sip of her sixth cup of ale. "...and that's when I told him to loosen (sp?) up." Anneth finished her story of her childhood to an odd looking person. The man had very scaggly hair as if someone had washed the floor with his head, and the rest of his body was pole shaped. The man stood lifeless leaning on the bar table. "By the way," She asked, still a little tipsy from the ale. "Have you seen my mop? I swear I put it right where you are.I'm really s'posed to be washing the floors but I felt a little partched." She tapped him "Sir?" The man fell to the floor with a light thud. Anneth knelt down and shook the man continuously. " Dasiy! We have a man down!"